babies were throwing up all over the place
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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