Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize