covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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