White coat. Heels.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
