I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm at about main and main street
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
