so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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