i already hear my dad disowning me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
