I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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