No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am one with the molecules
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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