girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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