I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
