I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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