Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
