I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
