Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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