I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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