If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
