Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
