did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
