no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
