this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
