I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
