We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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