I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize