Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it hurts more in the daytime
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
