you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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