considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
did i just pee glitter
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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