I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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