Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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