there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
