You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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