It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
