where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
