I'm really into asian looking animals
Please, let me fuck your mom
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
