every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
