There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
