I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize