Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
