i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
