You can't motorboat a personality
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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