Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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