In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
