But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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