either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
