I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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