We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
