You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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