Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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