Can Purell be used as lube?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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