I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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