well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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