yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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