i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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