Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
