She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
