She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
