Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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